Making a Christian Killing

Sometimes the news provides deeper insights into the state of the world, not necessarily by the quality of journalism but by the simple juxtaposition of articles in the paper.  The first story I recently saw dealt with the fact that the Roman Catholic Church in Santa Barbara is ordering nuns out of convents so they can liquidate the buildings to help pay off $660 million owed to the victims of pedophile priests. This is not a pretty picture for the Church.  Kicking out nuns who help the poor while the priests, part of the very brotherhood accused and convicted of molesting children, get to keep their own homes.  But this is an old story of women paying the price for the sins of the man.

The second story concerns the growing movement among ministers and pastors who are using the violent video game "Halo" to lure young, primarily male congregates to their churches.  This video game is violent enough to receive an "M" rating, requiring that the purchaser be at least 17 years old but that doesn't stop the ministers from having boys as young as 12 try to kill each other inside the House of the Lord. 

Do you see a common theme here?  Young males are being molested by the Church, whether physically or mentally violated and it is all being facilitated by men pretending to preach "the good word".  Allowing children to derive pleasure from killing, in any form, is against one of the bedrock commandments of these Christian con men but isn't that how they have always packaged the marketing message of their religion?  Death sells and redemption from sins, especially those associated with "thou shalt not kill" is just too tempting to use to get new blood in the door because the numbers of Christians is on the decline.

Another part of this agenda is evidenced by David Drexlar , Youth Director at the Country Bible Church  in Ashby, Minnesota who says, "We have to find something that these kids are interested in doing that doesn't involve drugs, or alcohol or premarital sex."  Those are the things that really scare the bejesus  out of the clergy and it is really no surprise.  There haven't been any (that I could find) killings of ministers, priests or pastors inside a church but there have been several episodes where these leading Christian figureheads have fallen from grace because of the evils of sex, alcohol, drugs and that evil of all evils, the lust for money.

How can we forget names like Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Baker who were all removed from their positions of religious power for illicit sex and, in some cases, drug use or accounting fraud.  It seems that the repression of sexual urges can burst out and tarnish the names of even good Christian men causing them to betray their partners, their flock and their entire TV ministry.  Damn the sins of the flesh!

But I have the answer for all of these Christian denominations.  It will raise boatloads of money, attract the attention of young boys and help with the healing process for the thousands of children traumatized at the hands of men of the cloth.  And it might just make the nuns feel a bit better about the world at the same time.  Here's the idea--create a violent video game where abused children hunt pedophile priests in the corridors of giant cathedrals from around the world.  Think about it.  For a small fee teams of players representing different churches could hunt child groping priests as they seek shelter in churches in different countries.  It would be educational and deeply satisfying.  The church with the most "kills" wins.

One of the best parts would be that there is no sin in this business model.  The dead priests would be forgiven by their God for the sins they have made on Earth so there is no down side there.  The shooters don't even have to worry about sinning since, as Kendrick Kenerly, founder of Christian Gamers Online points out, "I'm not walking up to someone with a pistol and shooting them.  I"m shooting pixels on a screen." 

All that is needed is a super hero replacement for their own Christian super hero--Jesus.  I have no doubt that out there somewhere some capitalist Christian has created an entire enterprise around a bible thumping super hero.  It's just a matter of time.

Comments

[B J]

hi there :)
i have been working on a website which is needed to reflect on our island's christian church.. well to be exact, the real christian dirt. while i was working and searching on some online articles i have found your site.
as for our background, we are still a bit un-experienced on how to write such articles, and yours really do draw the message loud and clear. would you mind if we'd link your site to some of our site's topics? and would you like to be mentioned in our site as a helper please?

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